Confirmation Monday, Feb 8 2010 

I just came back from attending an administrative luncheon where one of our head partner’s spoke to a group of administrative staff.  Originally I figured that I would attend because free lunch would be served.  Who am I to turn down free food? My next thought was *shrug* this may be interesting.  Little did I know.

After a proper introduction citing her many accomplishments she stood up to speak.  I wasn’t at all prepared for what was to come.  She’s a white woman.  I’m a black woman.  She’s from the south.  I’m from the north.  She’s older.  I’m younger.  She’s a lesbian.  I’m not.  With all of these differences her story…her experience resonated so deeply within me. 

She attended college in the 50’s or 60’s in the south, and then traveled to NYC to attend grad school.   She worked for many years as a high school teacher, and then as an administrative worker in the social security office.  She recited that while in grade school she had a male teacher who said that he’d take it as a personal failure if she didn’t attend law school and become the first female judge for the supreme court.

I was never heavily influenced by any teachers growing up.  If anything I was really put off by many.  Recently, I had a professor who did have an impact on how I view my academic journey.  On one of the graded assignments she returned to me she wrote across the top “Go to law school!!!”  That meant the world to me.

She went on to say that when she decided to go to law school she was in her 30’s.  A lightbulb hit her and she decided that it was what she wanted to try.  She wandered if her age would be a hinderance, but she forged ahead. 

For much of my life I knew I wanted to practice law, but I allowed myself to be deterred by one thing or another.  When I contemplated going to law school I counted on my fingers and gasped at how old I’d be as a graduate.  She thought “Who’s going to hire someone in their late 30’s?”  I’ve thought the exact.same.thing.  many, many times.  It’s only this time I keep putting one foot in front of the other moving in that direction.

On the day 3rd day of her summer internship her appendix ruptured and she had to have emergency surgery…forcing her to take 6 weeks off to recover.  She felt like she’d just lost her opportunity to be seen.  Instead the firm sent her flowers and told her she’d have plenty of time to do good work.  At the end a job offer was extended and she started work with the firm that following year.  Four years after joining she had another setback.  She was diagnosed with breast cancer.  Again she had surgery, as well as chemotherapy and then needed substantial time to recover.  Her words were “Don’t let a set back, set you back” (This is going on my vision board). 

At this point I’m soo touched by her story that I wonder if I should send her an email.  On the other hand, I’m thinking I’m sure she’s busy and I’d hate to write an email that’ll just fall into a black hole.  So I say to myself “Well I’ll pray about it and decide“.  Then she talks about what an honor it was to be recognized by a renowned industry publication.  She went on to say “It was when I started to receive emails from *pointing to the group* you that I felt really proud“  My eyes started to well with huge balls of tears.  That was the quickest answer to prayer ever.

Next she addressed the group regarding our dreams.  She said “You may be deciding to go back to school, or to pursue your dream…do it“  She also said something along the lines of doing whatever you need to do…sometimes you have to be flexible when pursuing your dream, but never go totally off course.  I literally had to tune her out.  I couldn’t take it anymore.  I would be slobbering and have had to make a long akward trek across a room to get out.  I pictured Bird and T playing one of the wii games and laughing.  I could not take it.  It was truly overwhelming.

God is so attentive.  He knows that I’ve been struggling here and there mentally.  This was a message that felt like it was prepared specifically for me.  Yet, not only for me.  I know there are plenty of people, and many of you that have goals, or concerns about your life.  Know that He hears your concerns and that He does speak, and that He will give confirmation.

UPDATE: I sent the email right after posting this.  She replied shortly after thanking me for my kind words and she asked me to let her know how my process is going.  I assured her that I would and thanked her again.

31-17 Monday, Feb 8 2010 

WHO DAT SAY DEY GON BEAT DEM SAINTS??

Last night was an amazing game.  Dinner was prepared just in time for the girls and I to sit down for opening ceremonies.  We were all super excited about the game.  Bird double checked with me a couple of times to make sure she was rooting for Saints.

Bird:  We’re rooting for the Saints right?

Me: Yes Bird..the Saints

Bird: *wide eyed* Ok

T: *speed talking* Yes we’re rooting for the Saints cuz if they win the Super Bowl then R.e.g.g.ie-B.u.s.h and K.i.m-Ka.r.d.a.s.h.ian are gonna get married and I wanna see that.

Me: SMH

The game started off great…both the C-lts and the S-ints were playing well.  Bird side-eyed me when I commented that the C-lts made a good play….like I’m some traitor.  I explained good sportmanship.  It WAS a good play. 

I’m not quite sure when I starting rooting for the S*ints.  Probably when the playoffs started and the Giants had already been booted.

With the mac n cheese, fried whiting and kale demolished I was sufficiently comforted TO FALL ASLEEP IN THE 2nd QUARTER ALL THRU THE 3RD. Ugh.  My eyes felt so heavy.  I couldn’t believe that after all the anticipation leading up to this game that I couldn’t even keep my eyes open.  I woke up refreshed right after the 3rd quarter ended.

I don’t know anything much about football.  Growing up I was a basketball fan.  I’ve only gained an interest in it by dating men who were huge football fans.  It started with Mr. K, and then Da Principal just took fan to a whole ‘nother level.  By listening to their analysis I was perfectly prepped to come to work or school and chime in on a convo, regurgitating exactly what they’d said and be all the awe..LOL

Last night was different tho…some of what they’ve  stuck, and I was able to better understand some other things all by myself *pat on the back*, and explain it to the girls like a pro.   

My mom called me when there were about 4 minutes left in the second quarter.  I told her I was watching the game but that it would be ending soon.  Then this dude named Porter intercepted a pass and took it all the way to the end zone just leaving dust behind and I LOST MY MIND! Screaming and Yelling…pumping my fists. 

The S*int’s defense is TIGHT (I picked that up all by myself).

Watching D.r.e.w-Breeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees (that’s what Da Principal calls him) hold his son and tear up was a beautiful sight.  I’m so happy for the win and congrats to all you Louisianians, you can’t help but be proud.  I bet a few of you teared up as well.  After all the city of N.e.w-O.r.leans has been through, there’s no word to describe…at least I haven’t been able to find it.

WHO DAT WHO DAT WHO DAT!!!

Grace in my life Friday, Feb 5 2010 

I’ve been doing a good job of preparing my meals so that I’m not spending money on food during the day.  Yesterday morning I woke up a little late, but I threw some spaghetti in a pot to boil.  Before I ran out the door I realized that I wouldn’t have enough time to dish it out and  put it in a bowl so I said forget it.  I ran in the kitchen, turned the fire off and headed out.

Last night when I came home we all noticed a strange smell.  I went into the kitchen to find the fire was STILL on.  The spaghetti was black.  The stove was on a very low flame, but on nevertheless for 11 hours.  I could have come home to absolutely NO.THING.  I could have caused harm to my neighbors.  I’m SOOO thankful that none of those things came to pass by the grace of God.

*Gasp* Thursday, Feb 4 2010 

T brought this to my attention.  Watindawhurl??

Salon Stories – Hurr remix Wednesday, Feb 3 2010 

I’m getting bored with my hair…well the color.  I haven’t used indigo in a minute so after many washes its back to dark brown/dusty black.  If I stay conservative I’ll just indigo again…if not I’m thinking red.  I’ll think on it more, I know that hair coloring isn’t the best.

Check out Ms. Goode.  I guess she got bored too.  She’s gone short, and added color.  I like.  Do you think this is a good look for her?

Hurts soooo bad Wednesday, Feb 3 2010 

I took a boxing class yesterday at lunch.  It’s  promoted as a basic level class. I was bamboozled!

There was nothing basic about that class.  It was militant!  Five minutes into the class I had to step out.  I have asthma, but its not horrible.   Yesterday it was.  My chest was tight and air was not moving period.  Once I composed myself I went back into the torture chamber.  They were all gloved up by this point.  The instructor says to me if I come and go I’m going to miss important points.  Next time I’ll just pass out in the class and, let’s see how the class momentum is then.

I left a few more times…once HE told me to leave and get water….lol  Maaaaaaan…it was no joke.  Now I know why he reiterated how important it is to breathe.  He was barking out orders to do jumping jacks and then fall to the floor to do the spiderman (wth??) and back up to jumping jacks.  Am I training for war?

Here I am today…sore.  My handwriting has not returned to normal.  My thumb muscle ain’t quite right so I’m not holding a pen steady making my strokes look like chicken scratches.

Will I return? YUP.  It’s been along time since I’ve worked out.  I’ve gotta get my cardio up…my stamina and then I’ll go back.  I’m no quitter.  Secretly I wanna know how to tap somebody’s jaw and lay ‘em out.  I’m not saying I will do it…I just wanna know how.

I saw a sign this morning that said “REACH FOR WHAT YOU CANNOT”…food for thought today.

She Fly! Tuesday, Feb 2 2010 

Ellen is a trip.  I caught some of her show last night.  When I saw her boots I nearly died.  Go ‘head Ellen!

I happen to be  fan of over the knee boots myself, but I don’t own any.  I love these babies

 

Weekend turn-out randoms Monday, Feb 1 2010 

I wore my hair in the updo and received several compliments.  That made me happy.

I did an EVOO deep condition yesterday.  I had it on for a few hours.  I’ll be bunning it for the rest of this week.

So, I had an opportunity to be really honest this weekend and I failed.  I was asked to do the welcome at church.  She asked if me and the girls could do it.  They flat out said no.  Then she said well you can do it by yourself.  I believe I did somehow say no..but the next thing I knew she was taking my number.  When she walked away my mother commented “there you go saying yes again“  Where was she to help me… I tried to wiggle out of it…really.  What am I going to do?  I don’t like public speaking..I get very nervous.  Maybe this is an opportunity to push myself once again out of my comfort zone.

My social science professor said that if we submit really good research papers she’d like to select a few to present at a conference.  The work would also be published.  My eyes lit and I got really excited at the opportunity and then queasy at the thought of needing to present alll at the same time.  Maybe giving the welcome will be practice? *sigh*

Why can’t Bird keep up with her things? I’m at my wits end with her.  She has 2 sweat shirts for gym.  She can’t find either one.

My girlfriend gave me her daughters bedroom set.  Dresser and full sized bed.  It’s white and in pretty good condition.  Well, before Mr. K kinda broke it up moving it to me. *eyes stretched*  I’m not sure when I’ll start on stripping the bed and the other dressers now.  I really don’t even have room for both, but one day I’ll have a house and who am I to get rid of furniture?

I may be faced with a challenging decision in the next few weeks.  It has me realizing how weak my faith is.  My blessings…the grace extended me, large and small is not of my own doing.  I have to remember that.  I also have to remember a path that isn’t cleared by Him is a path that I should not desire to travel anyway.  It’s the unknown that’s KILLLING ME.

I watched Denzel’s movie…I didn’t like it.  In fact I didn’t even bother to watch the rest.  The Blind Side was a grrreat movie tho.  We loved it.

I had a Boca burger yesterday…the grilled kind.  It was delish…mayo and ketchup…caramelized onions…mmmmm  I picked it up in Tarzhay.

Salon Stories – Up and away edition Wednesday, Jan 27 2010 

Last night I had every intention of conditioning and detangling my tresses.  What do you think happened?? NOT.A.THANG. 

My class was cancelled last night…that was an unexpected treat.  God showed me favor.  I came home and relaxed.  Before I went to sleep I sprayed my hair with a mix of water, giovanni’s leave in direct conditioner and coconut oil.  I did a few messy bantu twists and went to bed.

This morning it was uh…not great but it had a nice curl here and there.  Instead of pulling it into a pony I did an updo.  The back is to the side and rolled under.  I like it.  I’ve done this before I’m sure, but I’ll probably do it more often as a protective style.  I think its sassy enough to wear to church.

It reminds me of this updo…which I love.

Salon Stories: Hey…no..Hay edition Tuesday, Jan 26 2010 

My hair has been feeling really dry lately.  Besides it just being the winter I don’t really know what the problem is.  I deep conditioned last week.  Perhaps not long enough.  Something has got to give because this stuff is starting to feel like hay. 

I’d like to work on making my own concoction.  I may try my hand at it this weekend.  I haven’t henna’d in forever, maybe that’s what I need to do.  I have it all out today.  I received a compliment from a co-worker so I guess it looks good.  I’m going to moisturize it again tonight and wear it up tomorrow.

Whether relaxed or natural do you find you need to give your routine an extra oomph in the winter?

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