Revelations Friday, Jan 30 2009

I’ve been experiencing a few revelations over the past couple of weeks.  I’ll share a few.  Last week I received a phone call from my Godfather.  We lost touch and I’ve not spoken to him in 9 years.  He knew someone who knew someone who knew someone and he was able to get a message to my mom who called him.  We were on the phone for an hour catching up.  So I asked him if he was re-married or dating..he replied no and said that he should be.  He asked me the same and I shared a bit with him about da Principal.  In our conversation he said that I should be asking da Principal some more questions.  His words weighed on me, and I felt like I don’t really want to ask questions.  I’m going to let go.

Then I had the experience last week regarding my instructor and the blessing that I received by way of textbooks.  I reflected on all the circumstances that I’ve been through and I just became overwhelmed at how God has his hand on me.  Who am I that he should be so mindful of me?  To think that he’s concerned with Kelly and the things that Kelly is concerned with brought me to tears again.  I want to live my life in a way that honors that.

Most who know me know that I’m divorced and would like to re-marry.  Last week while in the shower, the Holy Spirit asked me if I had to choose between a great academic journey and a great relationship what would I choose.  Without hesistation my response was a great academic journey.  I’ve deferred my aspirations before in the name of “love”.  I won’t make that sacrifice again.

I picked up a book from Barnes n Noble called Choosing God’s Best, Wisdom for Lifelong Romance.  I got thru 2 chapters and my outlook on dating is completely different.  I’ve always liked the idea of courting moreso than dating, but I don’t think I fully understood courtship.  This book goes on to explain how painful dating can be because with every dating relationship there’s a break up that begats heart break for one or both parties minus 1 (if you marry the individual).  I’m signing up this new thang.  I’ll consider it an experiment of sorts.  I have nothing to lose. 

I’m going to become more involved at my church.  This book also promotes that.  I’ve wanted to be involved for a couple of years now, instead of just warming the pew.  Since its a big church and I really didn’t know whose who and vice versa I really didn’t know how.  Ironically enough one of the members asked my mom if I would be interested in one of two positions.  I texted back YES for both.  It’s not easy to explain but I have a sense that “things” are coming together–for my betterment and growth.

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Randomness Wednesday, Jan 28 2009

I have still have xmas cards to mail

How much fiber could a chick need to keep things going??

Fostering the young lady and her baby  situation is not working out…for her

I’m going to rent Lakeview Terrace tonight..I hope its good

I LOVE apple pie and ice cream!!!

I’m secretly hoping my mom and godfather have a love connection

I ride the bus with a woman who wears a mullet *sigh*

I’m very excited about my courses this semester

My girls are a much better version of me

My hair is a hotmess, but I’m glad I went natural..two years and counting

Share a random

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Could you date.. Wednesday, Jan 28 2009

..Djimon?

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I have no words.. Tuesday, Jan 27 2009

… http://www.latimes.com/news/la-me-wilmington-slayings28-2009jan28,0,7388500.story

I know that we are living in difficult times.  I have not been laid off so I don’t know that pain first hand right now, but I have experienced friends and family who have gone thru this recently in light of the economic turmoil that this country is in. 

What I don’t understand is how financial suffering could lead someone to slaughter their innocent children…babies and then take their own lives.  When I read this story it hit me in the gut.  There are people seriously hurting in our country.  I pray that other families do not succumb to this kind despair.

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I LOVE… Tuesday, Jan 27 2009

….my netbook!   I ordered it New Year’s Day after stalking it for 3 months.    I saw a great deal on amazon so I pulled the trigger.   I wanted to reserve judgement about this cutie patootie until I was about 30 days in, but I  couldn’t wait.  I don’t have a single complaint.  It’s super lite,  and I haven’t noticed any weird quirks.  If you’re looking for a netbook I would recommend this one.  It’s a 6-cell netbook so the battery life is great.  You can see how small it is.  It’s the perfect accessory for my student life.  I’m able to complete writing assignments during my commute without it weighing me down; when I’m in bed laying on my side its usually on my hip while I’m watching tv and reading blogs.

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Update – Single Dad Monday, Jan 26 2009

My friend is still under investigation by ACS, but his daughter admitted that she’d gotten in trouble at school and in hopes that this would deflect attention away from that she made this up.  He’s seeking a counselor for her.  She confided in his sister that she feels neglected by him and they don’t do “stuff” together anymore.  He’s taking a time out from the young lady that he’s seeing so that he can spend more time with his daughter.

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Weekend wrap-up Monday, Jan 26 2009

Saturday night I enjoyed the company of a guy I met online 2-3 years ago.  I’ll call him Moses.  The girls were going bowling with the church…I wasn’t up for it.  I had a huge craving for The Cheesecake Factory…O.M.G. the Crispy Chicken Costoletta is my thang! So I gave Moses a call to see if he would take the drive with me.  An hour later we were on our way.  We picked up the food, came back to my house and watched Three Can Play That Game…did ya’ll know there was a part two to Two Can Play That Game?? lol

Sunday I woke up and read a bit.  Then I headed to the movies…solo…it was nice I so need to do that more often.  I went to see Not Easily Broken.  I really enjoyed this movie.  There were several parts that caught me by surprise and a few subtle themes that I totally agree with re: male/female dynamics.  Then I went and got a manicure, picked up some spanish food…headed to Tarjay where I had a little victory.  I only purchased what I went there for *round of applause*!! Then I blew the dust off my gym bag and went to the gym.  I take drugs nightly to sleep..I’m wondering if I go to the gym after work and get in the pool if that’ll help me sleep naturally.  I’m going to try it this week.  Then I went and got my oil changed and air added to my tires.  I came home and cooked two meals.  I made jasmine rice and broccoli, along with lamb chops and fried whiting.  The girls were thrilled.  It was a verrrrry productive day.

I’ve been breaking out in hives on average every other day…in one area or another for almost two weeks.  I need to see an allergist.

What trouble did ya’ll get into this weekend??

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Favor Friday, Jan 23 2009

This is an update to my post regarding my instructor. 

Yesterday evening I was scheduled to have a meeting with the Campus Director of my school.  I was soooo nervous.  My stomach kept doing flips and somersaults…my hands were shaky.  I prayed a dozen times that I would say the right things.  I called my equalizer B for a lil support and she said “just speak…be you“.   I had the girls with me so I had them take a seat in the lounge.  She was informed of my arrival.  I waited…and waited…and waited.  I waited for about 40 minutes.  The longer I waited the more annoyed I became.  I could hear her kee kee keeing it up with someone in her office and I thought to myself…this can’t be good for me…she’s agreeing to this meeting to humor me, but she’s making me wait.  I’ve known for a long time that nervous and annoyance can not co-exist within me.

She finally came out with a bright smile and ushered me into her office.  I thanked her for seeing me and then I took a seat…I wasn’t nervous…I was cool as a cucumber.  She took her seat and then asked “So what’s going on“?  I replied humbly…”I’m really not sure“.  I told her how initially I was excited to take this class and how as the semester progressed I became frustrated.  She said “I believe this was a difficult semester for Mrs. Smith and to be honest I was very surprised to read your letter, but that doesn’t take anything away from your concerns“.  I nodded my head and then showed her my midterm evaluation which showed how she revised my evaluation from a B- to an A- after pointing out that all of my assignments were handed in on time and graded as an A.  Next I showed her my original research paper that was graded as a B+ and the revised totally marked up research paper graded as a B+.  She was shocked.  She said “Um did she know she was grading a revised paper…funny she thought your conclusion was fine in the original paper and she wrote kudos, but on this paper she says your conclusion was weak…this is crazy”.  Then she dialed someone to find out my final grade for the class…it was a B-.    She was totally up in arms and said that she wanted me to officially request a grade appeal and said that it would be reviewed and that I would get a grade change.  The review panel would see my original versus my revised.  Then she said “Just so you know it was mutually agreed that Mrs. Smith will not be returning this semester”  My jaw could have dangled from my ears at that point.  Then she says “Have you ordered your books yet for this semester” I said “no“..before I get the O out she said “Good…I’m going to give you your books for free….thats the least I could do”.  *FREE?*

At that point I was TOTALLY OVERWHELMED.  I put my head down, reached in my bag for a tissue and sobbed.  Just on Wednesday I checked out the books I would need for this semester.  They totaled over $400 and  I wondered how I would pull it off.  Last week I almost didn’t request the meeting.  I didn’t want to be the face of the student who was just making a fuss.  However, I went in prepared to face someone who may not find favor in me.

I am blessed and I am sooo grateful.  My prayers were answered…I wasn’t nervous.  This is above and beyond what I expected.  My Lord be showing off all the time! Favor!

ETA: Afterwards we had a 15 minute conversation about the election and Obama and we kee kee keed it up!

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Kids..I tell ya! Wednesday, Jan 21 2009

Last week was a lil crazy.  Bird had been sick with strep throat and strawberry tongue.  Have you ever seen that? It’s awful…poor thing had bumps on it and the corners of her mouth were slit. 

I took off Monday & Tuesday to nurse her, but on Wednesday I took her to Ms. Green’s.  Wednesday she ate two meals and seemed to be doing much better.  Thursday she went to school…no sooner than I reached my office door was the nurse ringing my cell,  so of course I turn around and head back.  It was during my ride back that I was chatting with a friend of mine who was like “LOOK…how long can you keep this up”? She went into a rant about R and how she doesn’t believe he’s EVIL.  She said that one way or another he has to step up.  If I lose my job, then what?  So I called him and he agreed to keep her on Friday.  I’m glad he did the right thing. 

But lemme tell ya bout T! This blossoming girl had been cutting a fool in class.  Fifth grade..10 years old…watindawhurl???  Not only did her teacher call me on Wednesday, but she called me on Thursday too.  On Wednesday she was disruptive in class and had a temper tantrum basically.  When we got home I sat and listened to her and then I talked…remember that was one of my goals?  The Lord sure knows how to make you prove yourself.  Anyway, I let her speak and then I gave her a warning, suggestions on how she should handle herself in similar situations and I dished out her punishment…no tv..computer..phone etc..

Thursday was a repeat of Wednesday.  This teacher is a great teacher and she really cares about T, so I know she’s not wasting my time nor hers just to chat it up.  Thursday I listened again, but the punishment was going to be corporal…and she knew it.  So I’m realll calm like in the kitchen washing a few dishes.  She comes in and says “Mommy…I just wanna say I love you and um….IF I die just tell everyone I love them too” So I say, T…what makes you think you’re gonna die?  “I don’t know…cuz you might kill me” I remember being a kid and just wanting to disappear to like China when I knew a beat down was coming…this thing CRACKED me up.  So I wave her away…but not before I notice the 5 layers of long johns she put on! BAWAHAHAHAHAAA

I went into my room to gain my composure because I was totally overwhelmed with laughter.  When I thought I had it together I went into her bedroom with the “enforcer” and started my talk…”T you’ve gotta *giggle giggle* get it together…this behavior is *giggle giggle* UNACCEPTABLE…this is NOT funny” *BAWAHAAAA* The whole time she’s flesh against the wall lookin at me I just flew over the cuckoo’s nest.   I could NOT hold it together…I wind up giving her like 3 swats and ran out collapsing on my bed in a FIT of laughter…geesh!  Why’d she have to say that???

I have a cat…a female cat…that’s in heat.  It’s the grossest thing in the world.  The girls don’t understand the behavior and I can’t outright say Boots is hor.ny!  So I keep saying she’s in heat..she wants to have kittens…which they think is a great idea…NAWT.  So T says..”well..if I pour some cool water on her will she still be in heat?” BAWAHAHAAAA…I love my girls!

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Inauguration Day! Tuesday, Jan 20 2009

I’ve exhaled…I’m so glad this day has come.  I was a bit emotional the night he was announced our President Elect.  We’ve recited how excited we are and how proud we are.  As this day started to draw closer I had this unusual anxiety mounting.  My mother and aunts headed to MD/DC on Sunday.  Yesterday I started to wonder if I made the wrong decision by staying in NY.

My mom called me this evening after a gazillion texts from me to her.  When she finally returned my call she said she couldn’t call me…it was BONE CHILLING COLD.  It was definitely the right decision to stay in NY.  My firm televised it  and invited all of us to view it.   I thought that gesture was really great.  There were people passing out kleenex’s lol.

Those little girls Malia and Sasha make me smile.  They are the same ages as my girls 10 and 7.  I look forward to seeing them grow as my girls grow too.

I’m looking at coverage of this balls wondering why I didn’t make plans to do that!  Michelle is fly…so fly.  I’m loving her one-shoulder gown.  I’m gonna be like them when I grow up.  They are my heroes!

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