Weekend turn-out Monday, Nov 2 2009

Saturday night I let T host a “Girls Night In”, and they had a great time.  They bobbed for apples…that was hilarious.  Rest easy knowing that each girl had her own bowl…just the thought…eeew.

It was so nice to have an extra hour of sleep…it would have been even better had I actually used it.  We were up early Sunday to go visit an old friend who lives in PA now.  It’s been a few years since I’ve seen or even really spoken with her.  We caught up and she fed us real good.  Then I remembered how annoying her husband is.  You know how some men will grab a plate and then head out to the man cave….well not him.  He’s like he’s vying for attention “ME ME ME” and he talks so loud.  So whenever she was speaking about something that he wanted to add to he’d just start talking crazy loud, then she’d go up like 100 decibels without skipping a beat! crazy.

She gave me some sofrito of her homemade sofrito…I can’t wait to add it to my dishes…yum.

They have joined this sales company and of course they gave me the pitch.  I thought it was very interesting.  After I do some research I’m going to poll you guys to get your feedback.

So me and that guy that I was getting to know…that’s dead and stinkin’.  We got into it a lil bit after he sent me a text asking if I’m interested in him.  First of all, what is a grown man doing send me a text to discuss something like that? Immediate turn-off.  I asked “what have you given me to be interested in? “Yes I want a christian man, but he needs to have a personality.  Everything that came out of his mouth was “praise the Lord” and while I’m not knocking that…what else do you have to offer??  I was just waiting for him to show me the nails in his hands and tell me he’s Jesus! He’s so heaven bound that he’s no earthly good.   I’m done.

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Hitched Thursday, Sep 3 2009

Bird:  Are you gonna get married? 

Me: I would like too

Bird: Will I have to call him Daddy?

Me: No…what would you want to call him?

Bird: Daddy

I don’t know why she said this. I guess its some void she feels.  R has been making a much greater effort since his mom passed.  I’m hoping its not temporary.

So often I get caught up in I want x,y and z…you know…my list of requirements in a mate.   Then He reminds me that He is preparing to give me someone not only for today, but for 10, 15, 20 years…a lifetime partner.  I know what I’d like now, but I have NO clue what I’m going to need then.  I gotta fall back and hush.

There is someone who I had no intention of entertaining, but for the past two weeks I have felt compelled to. I really don’t know why other than feeling that I would hate to block my blessing if he is that…soo…we’ll see.  I’ll keep ya posted.

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Randomness Wednesday, Aug 5 2009

My Aug 8th party is pink and white.  My Aug 22nd party is all white.  I hate that.

I played in my make-up last night.  I need much more play time…lol

Insomnia is back.

I went to the gym…early this AM.  It’s been a minute.  I didn’t stretch.  I’m soooooooo sore.

Alot of prayers are being answered.  Its a joy to highlight them in my book!

I’ve OFFICIALLY started to study for the lsat.  I need a head start considering my fall and spring course load.

I’m going to register in April to take it in June.

Isn’t that right around the corner???

I start my 2nd summer class on Friday.

My mom called me type A…again..last night. 

The summer is over…finito…not that we ever REALLY had one.

I saw Mr. K recently…he said I lost my butt…I agree *eyes stretched*.

How tragic.  I hate when that happens.

The girls were supposed to hook up with TBS…she had to cancel this go round.

I don’t particularly care for ATL, but I think I’m going to apply for a school out there.  I have alot of friends there. I wouldn’t be lonely.

I think I may be homesick in NC.  I’m sure I’d get over it in time.  I hope.

If you gonna pray why worry…if you gonna worry why pray.  Right?

Sometimes men are wayyyy worse than women when it comes to relationships that are bad for them.

I do not have an all white outfit and I DON’T wanna buy one.

I’m hosting a RHOA shindig tomorrow night….can’t WAIT!

AR Gal had a good idea wit them shirts.  I’d wear one…lol

I miss them girls SILLLLLLY!

I haven’t worn those suede magenta shoes yet…I don’t know what to wear them with.  If these chicks let me pick my own colors to wear to they parties MAYBE I could!  I’m lyin’…I ain’t hardly wearing them shoes to a party on my first go round.

My chance to make it to the beach went right out the flippin’ window on Sunday.

I can’t WAIT for Cancun.  There will be 4 of us.  Easy breezy gals…no drama.

I’m ready to plot another.

I’m sooo glad those journalists were released.  I can’t imagine the agony for the families.

I watched More to Love last night.

My cat is needy.  Have you EVER heard of such?

Hooking up after work with some of my fav girls.  That’ll be fun.

Moses and I are trying to re-schedule.

I’m not calling it a date, BUT I would like to do more dates during the day.  

I’m challenging myself.  For a week, I will not vent/complain/seek counsel from anyone else other than God.  This may seem trivial, but I’d like to see how this works out.  Keep me in line.

My favorite scent right now is Pink Sugar

I can really tell the difference with the henna.  I don’t plan to use Indigo again.  Regular semi perm is just fine for me.

Its HUMP DAY!

Who’s next?

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Catch-up Monday, Aug 3 2009

Wednesday

I had to report to jury duty on Wednesday.  I was soo looking forward to it as a mini-vacation.  My book *check*  Music *check* comfortable clothing *check*.  I can go to bed later and wake up later…*check*. They normally keep you 3 days and then release you if you don’t get called.  My name was called on day 1 and I was dismissed within 2 hours.  I was pissed…lol  My grandiose plans of low pressure and low stress out the window.

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Seattle Thursday, Jun 11 2009

The weather in NY has been so dreary, chilly and rainy.  I half way want to throw a fit!  I’ve never been to Seattle, but I imagine this is how that weather is.  I can’t imagine how Seatle folk deal….I can’t.  So yesterday was a piss pot day for me.  I had to work really hard to encourage myself.  There are times when my singleness seems to overwhelm me.  There are triggers.

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Bummmmmmer Thursday, May 21 2009

The girls’ school is closed due to swi.ne f.lu precautionary measures.  Seems like the school closed due to a number of kids having fevers and other f.lu like symptoms.  Well two of those kids are mine *sigh*  Meds, vitamins and liquids.  That’s the diet.

I met a guy online last week via a social site.  He reached out to me although my profile stated I’m not there to date/mate/or hook up.   Then it turned out that we’re both S.D.A., so we have the same religious beliefs.  (A+)  We went out for a bite this evening .  He’s really smart..nerd smart.  I like that.  He’s a good conversationalist, but he’s odd.  He started talking about how he’s on the fence about marriage and he doesn’t really believe in it.  He feels that more people should just say that they want an open marriage.  Isn’t that an oxymoron?  This is the same guy who stated he wanted to court me.  *sigh*

Da Principal contacted me yeseterday.  He asked about the girls, school, and work.  Then he asked me to let him know when I’d be free so he could take me to dinner to celebrate me doing well this semester.  I told him I’d let him know.

He left me a message today.  He was cracking up about an exchange we had.  I listened to it no less than 10 times.

Dating for me has been interesting.  Every guy I’ve spent a significant amount of time with has doubled back at some point.  Despite my FABULOUS personality, I think its because I didnt go “there”.

I’m not going to work tomorrow.  I have to monitor the chirren and pray that I don’t get sick.

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Possibilities and Non possibilities Friday, Apr 3 2009

There’s this guy at my job who I thought liked me…now I know he likes me.  It started out alot like school yard crushes do.  I swear I can’t even recall our first encounter…all I know is whenever I headed to his dept to get something done he’d always have a smart comment. I can give it as quick as I get it..so that was the dynamic between us…tons of sarcasm and haggling.

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Moses Friday, Mar 6 2009

Moses is what I call him…is my friend…I posted about an evening with him several weeks ago.  Moses is a cutie, he’s funny, smart and he’s a christian.  The last time we got together it was so cool.  There’s no overtly flirtatious chemistry between the two of us although we know we find each other attractive.  Towards the end of the evening he was saying random stuff like I’m bad for you…you would fall for me too hard, etc.. Finally I was like are you trying to convince me or yourself and he started laughing.  It wasn’t like we were talking about “us”.  I figured I wouldn’t hear from him for awhile, but its never been unusual for stretches of time to pass before we speak.  He’d been on my mind lately, so when I drove through his neighborhood Wednesday I gave him a call.  I left a voice message and he called me back last night.

We caught up on a few goings on, and then I asked if he’d been avoiding me.  He said yes.  Of course I wanted to know why, and he said we can’t be friends….bluntly.  That broke my heart.  He said that mentally he’s not in the right place.  He said he found himself mesmerized by me the last two times we hung out.  I never caught him staring inappropriately or anything.  He says that coming across a sexy or an attractive woman is a dime a dozen, but every once in awhile a man meets a woman with a special hook.  He said “you have that hook, and that would put me a bad place right now“.  He said he knows that God is going to help he get where he needs to be, but he’s not there yet..not strong enough.  He then confessed that he’d had secks twice in the past year and each time it was with a woman that he wouldn’t even date.  It was just a release.  He said “I can’t do that with you” and he said he asked himself well why not just marry her then…she’s the total package, and then reasoned he knows he’s not ready for that either.  My response was who said I wanted to date you anyway…I don’t! lol  He said it doesn’t matter whether I want to or not, if we continue as friends he’ll wind up pursuing me.  I know he has a female bff, so I asked if he told her about me..he said he did and the last time we went out he was apprehensive to share it with her because they had already discussed that I’m bad for him.

There was silence on the phone for awhile.  I’m hurt.  We’ve never come close to being romantic, never held hands…nothing.  He’s one of the few guys that I can talk to about christian issues and he gets it.  In fact, he was the one initially told me about the whole courtship thing.  At the time it sounded so foreign to me, I had to hold the phone away and look at it cock eyed a few times.  Now I get it and he won’t be my friend WTH?? My feelings are hurt.  I’ve never been dumped by a man that I wasn’t even dating.   It’s rough out here.

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Revelations Friday, Jan 30 2009

I’ve been experiencing a few revelations over the past couple of weeks.  I’ll share a few.  Last week I received a phone call from my Godfather.  We lost touch and I’ve not spoken to him in 9 years.  He knew someone who knew someone who knew someone and he was able to get a message to my mom who called him.  We were on the phone for an hour catching up.  So I asked him if he was re-married or dating..he replied no and said that he should be.  He asked me the same and I shared a bit with him about da Principal.  In our conversation he said that I should be asking da Principal some more questions.  His words weighed on me, and I felt like I don’t really want to ask questions.  I’m going to let go.

Then I had the experience last week regarding my instructor and the blessing that I received by way of textbooks.  I reflected on all the circumstances that I’ve been through and I just became overwhelmed at how God has his hand on me.  Who am I that he should be so mindful of me?  To think that he’s concerned with Kelly and the things that Kelly is concerned with brought me to tears again.  I want to live my life in a way that honors that.

Most who know me know that I’m divorced and would like to re-marry.  Last week while in the shower, the Holy Spirit asked me if I had to choose between a great academic journey and a great relationship what would I choose.  Without hesistation my response was a great academic journey.  I’ve deferred my aspirations before in the name of “love”.  I won’t make that sacrifice again.

I picked up a book from Barnes n Noble called Choosing God’s Best, Wisdom for Lifelong Romance.  I got thru 2 chapters and my outlook on dating is completely different.  I’ve always liked the idea of courting moreso than dating, but I don’t think I fully understood courtship.  This book goes on to explain how painful dating can be because with every dating relationship there’s a break up that begats heart break for one or both parties minus 1 (if you marry the individual).  I’m signing up this new thang.  I’ll consider it an experiment of sorts.  I have nothing to lose. 

I’m going to become more involved at my church.  This book also promotes that.  I’ve wanted to be involved for a couple of years now, instead of just warming the pew.  Since its a big church and I really didn’t know whose who and vice versa I really didn’t know how.  Ironically enough one of the members asked my mom if I would be interested in one of two positions.  I texted back YES for both.  It’s not easy to explain but I have a sense that “things” are coming together–for my betterment and growth.

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Could you date.. Wednesday, Jan 28 2009

..Djimon?

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