Weekend Turnout: Love at First Sight edition

Do you believe in love at first sight?  I hadn’t.  In fact, whenever I’ve heard it, my internal reaction has been “what is that supposed to mean.”  I’ve been in a funk lately about my love life, or drastic lack thereof.  I don’t meet potential bachelors in my age group.  The only men that I seem to attract receive pensions.

I went to church this past Sabbath, and I met a man.  Love at first sight.

On Thursday, this guy on the radio gave V-day advice to men and women on how to NOT screw up.  He also told women if they didn’t have a V-day date they should still go out.  There will be people who will be out socializing.  A huge light bulb went off in my head.  ”I’M GOING OUT!”  A tape played in my head of my gf saying that I never go out.  I scoped out the perfect place.  Shopped my closet for what I could wear, and made plans with a wing gal.

Saturday that all changed.  The long story on how this all played out is comical.  I’ll keep it as short as possible.  He came as a speaker for our youth day program.  I introduced myself to him.  I’m not even sure if he understood what I was saying.  When I replayed the scene in my head I think I sounded like one of those old school tape players on fast forward…lol  I did find out that he is single, but I’m sure purposely because he is immersed in his work.  He’s an EXCELLENT speaker.  I googled him, and found that he is a well sought speaker, although that isn’t his career.  I’m totally smitten.

Later on we got a chance to speak again.  I managed to get out that I would like to keep in touch.  He gave me his email address.  Despite me initiating, I haven’t lost sight that I am the PRIZE.  I will not chase; just open the door for contact.  A few people who saw me speak to him called me over.  I played it cool…ya know, no big deal.  They asked what I was speaking to him about.  I just said I thanked him for coming, and that I appreciated him sharing his story.  I was shocked to hear them say “the funniest thing just happened, Kimmie and I looked at you, and then looked at each other and said at the same time, “They look good together!”  That would have been a good time to fall out.

For a few years now, off and on, I’ve been praying for my future husband.  I’ve prayed for his spiritual walk, his family, and his career.  I’ve prayed that whatever he’s going through that he would remain strong.  Besides physical attraction, this is what I’m attracted to; a man that I admire.  I need to admire him, spiritually, professionally, and personally.  I need to admire his relationship with God.  I want him to inspire me.  As I’m strengthening my walk with God, I can’t have a man that is going to bring me down.  I will offer the same.

I work hard, and I’m building a career.  There’s nothing worse, based on my experiences, than a man who hates his job.  A man who hates his job, who can’t identify his passion, is a miserable man.  I want to be my man’s biggest cheerleader. We’ll encourage each other.  I need a man who can identify with the fact that I have a passion.  My ex’s passion changed like he changed underwear.

I want a man who I can watch from across a room, and admire the way he treats the waiter or the chairman.  That is huge to me.  What is more important than character?  Based on that, the way he takes care of his family is a given.

*HUGE SIGH*  I feel like a school girl with grown woman expectations.  His hands look promising too

I realize that this man may think that I’m a total nut.  That’s not the point.  The point is that he is a man that is familiar with the voice of God.  If it’s meant to be he’ll know.  If it’s not, then I’ll know.  I’ve decided not to go.  This was a reminder of what I’m looking for.  I don’t want empty dating experiences.  This drought began to take a toll on me.  It occurred to me, I could really mess up what is meant for me if I did date aimlessly.  I feel refreshed.  I woke up on Sunday morning with Matthew 6:33 on my mind.  ”But seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto [me] you.”

He is on the west coast.  Ideally, I’d just like to establish a good friendship.  I have my own thing going on.  I’m under development.  I want to bring the same things that I expect to the table.  I’m working on it!  In the meantime, I have my closet friends praying with me.  I’m naming it and claiming it in Jesus name!  Let the church say AMEN.

He’s the most humble man I’ve met.

Betrothed

After the engagement party I made a joke about “when I get married” in front of the girls.  I’m heard T sigh, and I’m sure her eyes rolled to the back of her head.  Today I was in the car with Bird and asked her why she thinks T doesn’t want me to remarry.  She said she doesn’t know, but that she does want me to get married…or at least a boyfriend (ha!).  I was confuddled at the bf part.

Me: Why?

Bird: Because I want you to be happy.

Me: You don’t think I’m happy?

Bird: I think you’re happy, but I want you to be more happy.

If she’d said “because you need someone to put up some blinds” I prolly woulda swallowed my tongue

Me: Well pray about it

Bird: Ok

Now look, I got a cute lil girl on board praying for my betrothal.  You know He’s especially attentive to the prayers of children. If you get on board with her, I’m sure you’ll get some of your own requests through too!

My Sister’s Keeper

Saturday night this movie was Bird’s pick.  Have you seen this film? It was not AT ALL what I thought it’d be.  By the end my mascara smeared, I was worn from the crying and my mind was back in 2003.

It was January 2003.  I’d had a mini stroke on New Years Eve and I was still hospitalized.  Our sitter had become unreliable, so we were in the process of getting Bird enrolled in the back up day care center at my job.   I told R that he should go ahead and take the girls to their dr.’s appt so we could get their medical forms completed.  The next day he told me that the pediatrician’s office left a message regarding Bird’s blood levels.  She needed to be seen by a specialist.  

I was released from the hospital, made the appt,  and took the drive to see the Hematologist/Oncologist.  Bird was just a little thing, a few months past her first birthday.  I didn’t know much about their suspicions, but she seemed fine to me other than becoming a really finnicky eater.  Entering the waiting room was a little bit of a jolt for me.  It was seeing that young boy with a clean head and his mom.  They both smiled.  Bird wasted no time getting on the floor and playing with the wooden toys.

The nurse called for us, and took her blood.  We waited and waited for the Dr. to call us in.  T had recently been enrolled in a private school, and the time told me we were starting to cut it too close to her pickup.  Finally Dr. Marcus called us in her office.  Her lips were moving, but I had no idea what she was saying.  She was talking about blood counts and cells…confuzzled is what I was.   She wanted to do another test.  I told her that I didn’t have time, I had another child to pick up.  She put her foot down and told me to find someone else to do it…it couldn’t wait.  I panicked.. “does she have leukemia???” 

She wanted more behavior information about Bird.  Is she active? Is she lethargic?  Is she cranky? Does she play? Yes.No.No.Yes.  The results showed that she should be very lethargic.  She was surprised that she had the energy to play.  Ah…but, she hadn’t been eating well for a couple of months.  Dr. Marcus had a plan.  I would bring Bird to her office 3x a week.  Each time they’d draw her blood to check her levels, and then give her an injection that would stimulate her bone marrow.  At the moment her bone marrow wasn’t producing red blood cells so her numbers were low.  She said this was a transient condition, and we should see results quickly.  Two weeks and she should be much better…she just needed a boost.

Two weeks turned into two months, and she wasn’t better.  She was getting worse.  She’d received several blood transfusions, all they did was stabilize her.  The nurses would come in to see for themselves.  They’d never seen a bag so small, and she was so well behaved. 

Things didn’t shape up the way she thought they would.  Dr. Marcus was trying to prepare me for a bone marrow sample.  What a terribly painful procedure.  I wanted to avoid it at all costs.   Three times a week the news wasn’t good, and while Bird slept exhausted from her crying I drove barely seeing the road through my own tears.   I would call my girlfriend during my drive to share the update and she would tell me everything would be ok.  It didn’t feel ok.  It was NOT ok. 

Through it all Bird was such a trooper.  She was more than familiar with what was in store when we went to see Dr. Marcus.  She knew she’d get stuck, and she knew that it would hurt, but through her cries she never resisted the nurse.  She always gave her little finger.

One week Dr. Marcus was on vacation in Hawaii.  By this time she wasn’t getting those shots anymore.  They weren’t working.  The nurse forwarded the results to Dr. Marcus and warned me that they would likely go ahead with retrieving the bone marrow the following week when she returned.  My heart ached.  I returned home to my mom.  My aunt and uncle were there visiting from upstate NY.  I relayed the latest news.  My aunt told us all to stand up and hold hands for prayer.  Then she anointed our heads with oil (Bird, T, R and I).  She prayed fervently that the hands of Satan would be bound and prayed for Bird’s total restoration.  Again, I was in tears.

The following week we returned to see Dr. Marcus.  This time she wanted to speak with me in her lounge.  She sat me down and explained that she received the results while away.  She knew that the procedure caused me alot of angst, but she couldn’t hold off on it any longer.  I exhaled deeply and said “ok“.  She wanted to take another blood sample so we did.  When she came back in with the results she said “Has she had a blood transfusion while I was gone?”  No..of course not  “Well her levels have gone up…I don’t know what it is”  I rejoiced I know what it is…that’s God. 

For the first time in MONTHS I left her office with a smile on my face…I was truly in awe.  Bird’s levels were always on the decline…even after transfusions they just remained steady for a few days.  That was no transfusion…that was the blood of Jesus saving my baby! IF I cried on the way home they were tears of joy.  Each time we returned we saw that she was improving.  Dr. Marcus called it a miracle. 

Watching that movie I totally related to Ca.me.ron D.iaz’s character (Sara).   My god-sister was there and remarked  how she felt she was doing too much and just needed to let go.   Not all women, but for some women if you’re not a mother you really have NO IDEA.  There were parts when I didn’t agree with Sara but I knew she was coming from a place of sheer desperation, panic and love -ANYTHING to hold onto her daughter.  Thank God our situation never turned that dire, but I know those feelings.  When I recall that time in our lives I’m still brought to tears.

Ca.me.ron D.iaz did a great job.

LOVE LOVE LOVE

Congrats to Pserendipity and Tim!  If ya haven’t heard…they got engaged on Christmas and I’m soooo happy for them!!

I’ve decided that I’m a virtual bridesmaid!

Love Letter from Roscoe

Tampa

I spent my weekend in Tampa and a grrrrrreat time.  It sucked coming back…literally, but I won’t focus on that.  I met my god-brother’s wife and quickly came to ADORE her!! Phew! Her lil girls are beautiful and I could just eat them up.  I’m really happy he has a good woman.

We stayed at the In.tercon.tinental hotel.  It was nice…business oriented..which I knew, close to the airport, but far from where everyone else was staying.  We were up at 4:30 am and arrived in Tampa at 10 am-ish.  My god-brother Rok and his fiancee picked us up.  I didn’t rent a car so I was at the mercy of someone picking me up and dropping me off.  I thought she was lovely. We went straight to church.  After service we headed back to their house where lunch was being prepared for friends and family.  There were about 30-35 people there.  I was able to connect with friends that also came in from out of town that I haven’t seen in a long time (although we’re all in NY…shame).

We ate, we laughed…the kids ran around..and I observed.  I watched her…her family…how they interacted together.  I kept thinking I REALLLLLY like this girl.  After some folx started leaving she had an opportunity to sit down and put her feet up…and she just smiled.  Then she said..”I love this“.  Her friend questioned…and she replied “family is here…we’re laughing…I love family…I wish it could always be like this“.  I related to her.  I actually think we’re similar in a few ways. 

By 6:00 I was ret to go.  I was so tired and just wanted to lay down.  They were planning to go to the church and finish decorating.  Rok took me to the hotel, then said he’d come back for me so that we could all go to the church.  I said ok, but I wondered how he could pull that off since my hotel really was out of the way.

Once I got in the room I was ready to collapse! I told Bird that I was going to take a nap…she suggested that I read a book instead..lol.  That was at 6:45pm. I woke up at 12:36am to the shrill of my cell phone, completely disoriented.  Needless to say Rok didn’t come back for me.  He called to apologize which was unnecessary.  Then he said the unthinkable.  The wedding was later at 3:00 pm.  He arranged to have someone pick me up, but she had to come get me at 9:00am.  I was near tears.  There was no way I could get up at 7:30 and wear a dress and those shoes for hours before the wedding.  I didn’t want to wear reg clothes and then have to lug my other clothes around.  Nope.  There had to be another way.  He said it would cost me a grip to take a cab.  Oh well….a grip may have to be paid cuz there’s just no way.   I needed some down time.

The next morning we took our time getting up…we ate breakfast and then hit the roof-top pool.

I met a woman who was there with her daughter from Houston.  This is Bird’s candid shot of me.

We couldn’t stay for long but it was nice to get it in.  The wedding was wonderful…there were definitely a few hiccups, but thats weddings for ya.

Reception…more laughing and dancing

 

Their marriage is in my prayers.  A wedding is nice, but the lifetime commitment is what really matters.  I’m happy for them.

This is my weekend turn-out!

What ya’ll get into?

Empty nest

I should be doing back flips I suppose but I’m hella lonely and I can’t sleep.  When T was gone I still had Bird so I was ok.  Now that Bird is gone I’ve returned to my insomniac ways it seems.

I got home from school last night completely beat!  I couldn’t even pick out my clothes for today I was so tired, so I took my shower and hit the sheets…’cept…an hour later I was STILL awake!  Let me rewind and also so that when I got home I was paranoid that a burglar/rap.ist had snuck into my house and was hiding in a closet somewhere.  I called Mr. K…he says “well just go check all the closets” Me: “and then what…hasten my axing?”  How does looking for the criminal help me at all???

My alarm went off at 5:45am like it was supposed to, but somehow I didn’t open my eyes until 7:10am.  I’m supposed to be on a bus at that time *EYES STRETCHED* In a miracle of alll miracles I was in my car within 15 minutes.

I’m a mess….literally..I look like crap this morning…geesh.   My house is not a home with them gone *sigh*.

TGIF…for the memories

WOO HOOOO!!! That’s how I’m feelin’…its my Friday..my joy runneth over. 

I was chatting with S23 yesterday about travel…I love how she travels.  She is on the go.  Yesterday I updated my FB status and I said money surrounds you with things…not happiness.  I wasn’t trying to be all preachy….my heart just felt like its the good spirit of people…family and friends that really make for happiness.  Many celebrities have the world at their fingertips and are not happy.  Let me ’splain…if you wanna give me a fat check I’ll take it (if I know you!)…but that isn’t where my treasure is.

I didn’t make this one of my goals at the beginning of the year..but it’s going to be my mid-year goal.  I want to create more happy memories with friends.  When I look back at pictures of good times that I’ve had with friends it makes my heart swell…when I look at my things….my gucci bags..ok well that makes me happy too…but you get my point! lol…its different.  I don’t have memories of my material possessions.  I know so many people that are chasing the dollar…they just aren’t laughing…living and loving.

I communicate with some of you off of this here blog.  I want to thank you for your friendship.  I feel blessed to share my madness with you.  Money can’t buy genuine friendship and it’s a good thing cuz I don’t have much.

I commit to Laughing…Living…Loving with my friends and I look forward to meeting you all soon!

Here’s to friends and creating more lasting memories

CreoleInDC

 TBS

My gals

So what are you getting into this weekend? Hopefully creating great memories!

T’s Day

Tuesday my girl T graduated.  We were blessed with good weather for most of the day.  This is the end of one chapter for her, but the beginning of another.  I’m excited for her.

Tuesday morning I took her to get her hair done.  She wanted a bang…I sorta had angst about that…that’s me…but the stylist suggested a sweeping bang and we were ALL happy with that compromise.

This is her dress.  I loved the colors and the coverage. 

One of the FEW cap and gown pics I have of her.

Mommy’s girl!

Weekend turn-out

I visited my grandmother on Sunday.  She has dementia. It’s difficult because she doesn’t seem to have a clue who we are.  She doesn’t speak coherently.  She usually pays adults no mind, but is drawn in by kids.  Yesterday, that wasn’t the case.  Maybe Bird is getting too big now. 

After 30 minutes I decided to leave.  I leaned in and planted a kiss on her neck.  She jump startled and let out THE biggest laugh.  It warmed my heart.  She grabbed my face with both her hands and laughed.    I miss her so much.  The woman that is in that wheelchair is not my “grandmommy” and its tough.