What is at the top of your mountain? Tuesday, Nov 3 2009

Part of the reason why I share the details of what I go through in my daily life is because I want you guys to challenge me…to hold me accountable to those things that I say I’m going to do, or not going to do…be it in my personal relationships or my school/career aspirations.  So many of you inspire me for various reasons.  

The other reason I share so much is because I know one day it is going to be a joy to look back, once I’ve attained some of the things I aspire to.  Often times people don’t realize what others that have had to overcome to get where they are…they just see the blessing, but not the struggle. 

Stumbling blocks are a given especially when you are reaching towards the prize at the top.  I shared my experience the other week with needing to take this addt’l class.  It puts me at an 18 credit course load this semester.  As I mentioned, the fact that the Campus Director offered financial assistance made the pill a bit easier to swallow. 

Last week Thursday I was leaving school when the same woman who told me that I HAD to take this course stopped me.  Long story short in her very own style of tacky she told me that I needed to clear with financial aid so that I could take the course.  I countered with “No…Dr. Campus Director needs to take care of that”.  Ms. Waste of Oxygen said “No…that offered was rejected by the Dean“.  Was it her place to reveal that to me…she didn’t make the offer in the 1st place?  At that point I could have allowed my pressure to rise.  I shrugged and said “Ok, well that I guess that means I can’t take the course…that’s a no brainer” and I walked away.  She stood looking at me like I had 3 heads. 

What I have not shared is that I have an outstanding balance right now of $1,062.  My financial aid award should have covered all of my classes.  Something went awry, so this is what I’m left with.  My education is important so this will be dealt with, but it is another blow.          

Fast forward to last night.  I ran into Dr. Campus Director…I didn’t mention my discussion with Ms. Waste of Oxygen.  I asked about her original offer and it still stands, she even mentioned giving me books for next semester.  All should be in place by Wednesday.  It’s a good thing I recognize a waste of oxygen when I see one.  Why bother conversing with her when she has no final yes or no to offer.  Yup…stumbling blocks.           

I will be greasing her palm  showing my appreciation for her assistance.  I heard she loves breads.           

 What is at the top of your mountain?

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Random clutter Wednesday, Oct 21 2009

I’ve wanted to blog, but when there’s sooooo much going on in my brain I can’t do a single thing.

I have lunch with a co-ed multi-cultural group.  We laugh sooo much sometimes I nearly pee on myself.  On Friday we were talking about vitamins when Ram mentioned that he likes to take B12 shots…gives energy etc.  I inquired more because if its that good I need that in my life stat! He went on to say that he gets them from his boyfriend.  As a result of his boyfriends’ HIV status he needs them.  My reaction was “wow”…then he said that he was HIV positive as well…..”wow”.  We talked about this for awhile and his numbers are low enough that he does not need medication.  I felt really grateful that medicine has progressed enough that being HIV does not have to mean it’s a death sentence. 

It also made me wonder…are folx really STILL having unprotected secks???? SERIOUSLY???  I don’t think I updated ya’ll on this yet, but remember the girl that left her son with my friend and then went missing?  Well she was found….her body that is.  It seems that her boyfriend killed her because he discovered that she gave him HIV…speechless.  Do you know of friends that are this careless with their bodies??  You might want to share this story.

I did the breast cancer walk on Sunday.  On Sunday, the weather was cold, rainy and windy.  WICKED.  R picked up me and the girls.  Before we left the house he kept wondering out loud if I would be warm enough.  I had on leggings, two long sleeved tees, and my vest.  He dropped us off at the registration booth so that he could go and park the car.  We were outside a good 2 minutes when I cried aloud.  It was FREEZING!  I called his cell and we headed back to the house.  We changed clothes and made it back without missing anything.

The walk was a little emotional.  It felt great to be united with so many people for the same cause.  We were doing a great thing.  I plan to do the walk next year as well.

School is going well, but I’m feeling a little overwhelmed.  I’m not even sure why.

Another guy in my lunch crew has been coping with his boyfriend’s cancer.  This guy is only 24 years old.  Yesterday he was rushed into emergency surgery, and it wasn’t looking good.  I got word before I left work that he pulled through the surgery, but that his condition was still very critical.  I’ve been praying hard for him.

Oy vie…what’s some good news???  The girls are doing great.  They’ve had some moments of civility over the past few days.  I’ve been putting some funk in my work wear dress…no pics…ya’ll ain’t ready…lol

I purchased a pair of grey shoes yesterday…I’ve had them in my thoughts for like 3 weeks.  I’m glad that I waited…the price was sweeeet.  They make me happy. 

I’m starting to plan my holiday party.

I’ve had so many opportunities to witness in the past week or two.  It’s been great…and I’m thankful to be used.

I’ll be making a trip to NC in January.  I want to scope out my (potentially)new state in the winter season, and then I’ll visit again in April or May. 

This is for us Nerdgirl “”Procrastination is the grave in which opportunity is buried” ~Author unknown

*exhale*

Random?

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It’s about me Wednesday, Oct 14 2009

I was conversing with S23 the other day about the guy I’ve been getting to know.  I see the mention of a man didn’t get past you TM..lol.  He wants to settle down and get married.  He’s what I desire in a man in a lot of ways, BUT I don’t feel any chemistry.

She asked me if I prayed about it, and I have.  I’ve prayed about it a dozen ways.  As much as I want to be boo’d up and live in matrimonial bliss I don’t see this going anywhere.  When I first separated from R I was so afraid to be alone.  I did not want to live alone for the rest of my life.  It’s been 5 years and although I am single, I am not lonely. 

I don’t know when it’ll be God’s will to bless me with a mate, but I do know I’m not ready right now.  Why would I say that?  I’m praying for a specific mate.  Among other things, I want a priest for my home.  A man that is going to do everything to make sure his house is in order for heaven.  I realize that this is probably not a popular message.   With womens’ lib in full effect the very mention of being submissive is enough to warrant a side-eye. 

While I am not trying to walk 10 feet behind my man, I am also not preaching that I can do anything as good as you (a man) and better.  We are not the same, and we’re not designed to be.  My point is that I realized I better be careful what I ask for.  What I’m asking for is right…for me.  However, I also know that if he were to show up right now I would give resistance.  “I should stop doing what? You feel what? You prayed about what??”   It’s about me. I’ve got to work on being the kind of woman that the man I’m praying for deserves.

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Weekend Turn-out Monday, Oct 12 2009

My massage was a big disappointment. It wass my fault tho…I didn’t request the guy who rocked my world.  This woman talked through it.  I pointed out a cut on my ankle so she’d be careful…she asked me how I got it, I explained I got it during my excursion in Cancun.  Then she asked if my vacation was expensive..smh.  When I was trying to relax I heard her stomach grumble.  Every so often it seems as though she was gasping for air…was she asthmatic?  I kept wishing it was over.   She sat on the edge of the table a few times.  She had no real technique other than just rubbing.   Unfortunately, for me it was a waste. 

I had a mouse in my house…I won’t tell you how I screamed and carried on, and I won’t tell you that when I took my mom to embark on her cruise the girls called me in sheer hysteria.  I also won’t mention that I was secretly glad that I wasn’t home.

I will say that the guy that I’ve been getting to know saved the day.  The girls jumped ship…they were like “We’re going to Daddy’s house and not coming back until it’s gone“  I don’t blame them at all.  I have a cat named Boots.  Boots was about her b.i.zness, but this game was taking too long.  Before my friend left last night I had him do some more checking.   He killed it, I was glad and then he felt bad. Oh well.  IT’S DEAD and now I can rest easy.  Rest easy is just what I did.  So much so that I woke up an hour late this morning.  I didn’t even rush.  I took my time.  That rest was much needed.

On Saturday my girls got baptized.  I was  SUPER PROUD MAMA! We’ve had a crusade going on at the church for 3 weeks.  The first week they asked parents to bring their young children.  I took the girls up…I didn’t realize it was for baptism.  T wasn’t having it.  I talked to her for a bit about the importance of this decision.  She listened and said no..so I left it alone.  The following Sabbath, she said..”Mommy I’m going to get baptized next week”.  I gave her a BRIGHT smile..and she said “don’t smile at me”…lol.  So Sabbath came…Bird decided she wanted to do it too.  We were in the back so that they could change into their baptismal robes.  T started to feel anxious and she wanted to renege.  Anxious went to panic with her shaking her head saying no.  Then she says to me “I’m not ready…you made me do it” *insert OH NO YOU DIDN’T JUST SAY THAT face*.  I leaned in and said “I never forced you to do this…we talked about it..you said no and I left it alone”.  “But I kept thinking about it” “Well if you were thinking about it then that is the Holy Spirit speaking…is the Holy Spirit STILL speaking to you?” *silence*  I then asked Bird if she still wanted to do it if T didn’t do it.  She got very emotional and cried in her hands. She didn’t answer, but her actions told me that she really wanted to do it, but she wanted to do it with her sister.  I left her alone with her thoughts and I prayed for her.  At the end of the service she was ready.

(I cut the video short because afterwards I couldn’t get any footage past that dang blue blanket.  I later found out that sometimes when they go down womens underparts are exposed so they use the blanket for privacy.)

T was SOOOOOO HAPPY! She kept saying “I feel sooo goood! I’m soo happy we made the right choice!”  Bird was happy as well.  As a mom I was overwhelmed with joy.

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Randomness Wednesday, Aug 5 2009

My Aug 8th party is pink and white.  My Aug 22nd party is all white.  I hate that.

I played in my make-up last night.  I need much more play time…lol

Insomnia is back.

I went to the gym…early this AM.  It’s been a minute.  I didn’t stretch.  I’m soooooooo sore.

Alot of prayers are being answered.  Its a joy to highlight them in my book!

I’ve OFFICIALLY started to study for the lsat.  I need a head start considering my fall and spring course load.

I’m going to register in April to take it in June.

Isn’t that right around the corner???

I start my 2nd summer class on Friday.

My mom called me type A…again..last night. 

The summer is over…finito…not that we ever REALLY had one.

I saw Mr. K recently…he said I lost my butt…I agree *eyes stretched*.

How tragic.  I hate when that happens.

The girls were supposed to hook up with TBS…she had to cancel this go round.

I don’t particularly care for ATL, but I think I’m going to apply for a school out there.  I have alot of friends there. I wouldn’t be lonely.

I think I may be homesick in NC.  I’m sure I’d get over it in time.  I hope.

If you gonna pray why worry…if you gonna worry why pray.  Right?

Sometimes men are wayyyy worse than women when it comes to relationships that are bad for them.

I do not have an all white outfit and I DON’T wanna buy one.

I’m hosting a RHOA shindig tomorrow night….can’t WAIT!

AR Gal had a good idea wit them shirts.  I’d wear one…lol

I miss them girls SILLLLLLY!

I haven’t worn those suede magenta shoes yet…I don’t know what to wear them with.  If these chicks let me pick my own colors to wear to they parties MAYBE I could!  I’m lyin’…I ain’t hardly wearing them shoes to a party on my first go round.

My chance to make it to the beach went right out the flippin’ window on Sunday.

I can’t WAIT for Cancun.  There will be 4 of us.  Easy breezy gals…no drama.

I’m ready to plot another.

I’m sooo glad those journalists were released.  I can’t imagine the agony for the families.

I watched More to Love last night.

My cat is needy.  Have you EVER heard of such?

Hooking up after work with some of my fav girls.  That’ll be fun.

Moses and I are trying to re-schedule.

I’m not calling it a date, BUT I would like to do more dates during the day.  

I’m challenging myself.  For a week, I will not vent/complain/seek counsel from anyone else other than God.  This may seem trivial, but I’d like to see how this works out.  Keep me in line.

My favorite scent right now is Pink Sugar

I can really tell the difference with the henna.  I don’t plan to use Indigo again.  Regular semi perm is just fine for me.

Its HUMP DAY!

Who’s next?

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Intercessor Wednesday, Jul 8 2009

I started a prayer journal where I record prayer requests of my own and of other people that I know or that I’ve been told about.  Sometimes once the smoke clears and time has passed, I forget how I felt when I didn’t see my way out.  It’s uplifting to be able to go back and see how I’ve made it through.

Through reading some of your blogs I’ve recorded some of the requests that I know are heavy on your heart.  I’m a huge believer in prayer and even more in intercessory prayer.  When I was sick and at my most critical state I couldn’t pray for myself..I wasn’t even conscious, but I had people praying for me.  I believe that I was covered from head to toe in prayer.  Today, I’m alive to talk about it.

I look forward to when I go back through the book and highlight those prayers that have been answered.  A large part of prayer is faith…God is motivated to move on our behalf according to our faith.  The bible says “Without faith it is impossible to please Him” Hebrews 11:6.  He delights in removing obstacles from our paths, making a way out of no way..shining a light in situations that appear dismal.  I encourage you to take all things heavy or light to Him in prayer. If you desire to share a prayer request I’d be happy to record it in my prayer journal.  It’s constantly in my thoughts and I send up those prayers daily.  When God shows up on your behalf we can rejoice together.

You can email me at kellyinaday at yahooooo

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Let’s Dance Friday, Jun 5 2009

Yesterday I left work at 3:30 (early) for my parent interview.  I had to be there by 5:00.  I said a quick prayer that my make my bus and make it the interview without being late.  I made to Madison avenue and I saw my bus boarding passengers…the light was green..I could cross the street.  I said a quick prayer again…the light turned red, I made it across the street..boarded the bus.

Heading uptown we ran into a ton of traffic.  When I got off the bus it was only 2o minutes to 5:00.  I ran to my car and started to zoom zoom.  Then I reasoned that God doesn’t want me to kill myself or anyone else to make it there in time.  He’ll work it out.  I get to the block and there’s no parking, so I start praying again.  I get to the school and there’s a spot right in front…with 4 minutes to spare!

I get to the door and its locked.  There’s a man outside, he asked who I was there to see.  I say the Asst. Principal..he says she’s right over there.  The AP turns around and its one of my professors from my Fall ‘08 semester.  Unbelievable!  We chat for a minute…she’s just as surprised as I am.  As we’re heading upstairs she says that there’s a waiting list. 

We run into the Principal who is leaving the building.  She introduces me as a parent and as one of her students.  The Principal stated again that there is a waiting list.  After some more talking she says to the AP “find out where she is on the list and find out how we can bump her up” *God is gooooood*

We go into her office and she says “I know you, but I still have to ask these questions”.  She asked me a series of questions like how do I feel about cell phones and ipods in school, how often do I expect communications from teachers, etc..  I told her that I honestly was not comfortable with her attending a public school, but that I would really like her to go here.  By the end we were both talking as if she was already enrolled *God is goooood*

We spent like 40 minutes talking.  She showed me the dance studio.  She invited us to a performance they’re having this evening at 6:00.  The kids have lockers. I’m sooo psyched.  T is gonna love it.  I’ll see her this evening and she’ll let me know what she’s working out.  She said that staff is young.  She and the principal are the oldest and they are 40’s and 50’s respectively.

The school is small…which I love….just around 300 students for grades 6-8.  98% girls…which I LOVE…lol.  What I love more is how God really worked this whole thing out.  He opened doors, gave me direction and in the end left no room for doubt! Yet again…I’m in awe.

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Exhale Wednesday, May 27 2009

I completely stressed myself to tears yesterday regarding school.  Although I’ve been blessed and have done as well as my peers with degrees.  I have shame that I didn’t go to school sooner.  Now I feel like I’m choking and time is against me because T is getting older. I’d like to have myself established in my career BEFORE she goes to college.  I don’t want us looking at each saying “whatchu gon be when u grow up…iono…whatchu gonna be when you grow up?”

This means finish school by 2011 (80 credits in two years), prepare for my LSAT,  get a good score so that I get accepted to a decent law school, go to law school f/t, and graduate.

In order to accomplish all of this before she graduates high school I have to not skip a beat.

It started with me realizing that I’ll have load up on my courses in order to finish by 2011. I went to complete my financial aid yesterday and was told that if I had things my way (12 summer creds+32 fall/spring creds),  I’ll owe the school $11,000+  for this school year*gasp*.  That’s when I felt the dam about to break.  If I stayed home and birthed babies for a living and taxed the system this wouldn’t even be an issue.  The truth is…if I had gone to college when I was supposed to this wouldn’t be an issue  *shame*.

The financial aid worked out. I’m scheduled to attend both summer semesters and take 14 credits in the fall. Once I finish summer I’ll have 60 credits and qualify for more money.  Then, I should be able to take 16 credits in the Fall and again in the Spring.

Its easy for others to say slow down, don’t worry.  Yesterday when I shared my plan to accelerate my academic workload my mother called me “impatient” and “type A”.  She doesn’t want me to stress myself out.  I’ve already let so much time pass me by and its important to me.

Thankfully, today my emotions are a bit more in check.  I’m pretty hard on myself.  Yesterday before I reached the financial aide office, I prayed that any door that is not for my benefit will be closed…in all areas of my life.  I’ll have to pray that my faith sustains me as that prayer is surely answered.

Have you overloaded courses before?  I have a plan of sorts.  I will be eliminating some things in my life in order to make this feasible.  I’ll share later.

The amount of debt that I’m going to be in after this is all said and done is enough to make me hyperventilate all on its own!

 

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Bummmmmmer Thursday, May 21 2009

The girls’ school is closed due to swi.ne f.lu precautionary measures.  Seems like the school closed due to a number of kids having fevers and other f.lu like symptoms.  Well two of those kids are mine *sigh*  Meds, vitamins and liquids.  That’s the diet.

I met a guy online last week via a social site.  He reached out to me although my profile stated I’m not there to date/mate/or hook up.   Then it turned out that we’re both S.D.A., so we have the same religious beliefs.  (A+)  We went out for a bite this evening .  He’s really smart..nerd smart.  I like that.  He’s a good conversationalist, but he’s odd.  He started talking about how he’s on the fence about marriage and he doesn’t really believe in it.  He feels that more people should just say that they want an open marriage.  Isn’t that an oxymoron?  This is the same guy who stated he wanted to court me.  *sigh*

Da Principal contacted me yeseterday.  He asked about the girls, school, and work.  Then he asked me to let him know when I’d be free so he could take me to dinner to celebrate me doing well this semester.  I told him I’d let him know.

He left me a message today.  He was cracking up about an exchange we had.  I listened to it no less than 10 times.

Dating for me has been interesting.  Every guy I’ve spent a significant amount of time with has doubled back at some point.  Despite my FABULOUS personality, I think its because I didnt go “there”.

I’m not going to work tomorrow.  I have to monitor the chirren and pray that I don’t get sick.

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Checking in! Wednesday, Apr 29 2009

Hey good people!  There’s plenty swirling around in my head and more going on around me, but nothing that I can really lay out right here.  In any case, I wanted to say Heller!  The temp here is in the 60’s.  I’m happy about it.  The past few days its been high 80’s, low 90’s…what happened to spring?  I’m not complaining…promise!

Oh I have something to share…da heezy????

Yes I’ve been riding around like this apparently.  I got changed yesterday.  I just put air in this tire about 2 weeks ago and it wasn’t like this…or maybe it was on its way and I don’t know what to look for.  This is a man’s job *sucks teef*  I need a new car.  I’m far too pretty to be riding around in this jalopy.   You think if I repeat that I CAN afford a new car that it’ll be my reality???

If I had my pick today it would be this

Or even better

Are you in the market for a new vehicle? Mine is 13 years olddddd….I neeeeds one.  From my mouth to God’s ears.

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