Pressing forward Thursday, Nov 12 2009

Yesterday I took the day off to a) spend some time with the girls b) get a lil extra morning rest c) catch up on some school assignments d) have a new bathroom cabinet installed.   Not all in that order, but I needed to accomplish these things.

I spoke to my maintenance guy at 9:15…he said he’d be 30 minutes.  Thirty minutes quickly elapsed into 3 hours.  He didn’t show up until 12:30.  I planned to take the girls to a 1:30 movie.  I considered just leaving and re-scheduling in a few weeks. I have things to do.  When he arrived he sucked his teeth and cursed, showed me that my sing is too small for the new cabinet that was ordered.  Imagine that?  I was beyond aggravated.  Who orders a cabinet willy nilly without measuring the space AND the sink…hard?  So after hours of waiting that didn’t get done.  My frustration triggered a headache, T wasn’t dressed so I scrapped the movie idea and laid down.

T’s tutor came around 4…I’m giving her the side-eye…a story for another day.  Bird and I set out for my mom’s house.  I borrowed a movie from her that the girls have been wanting to see.  We ate dinner, and then I put the movie on for them. 

By this time it was 6:30 and I had no idea where alll my time had gone.  The one thing that I didn’t put any effort into was my school work.  There was no way I  would get anything done at home.  There are distractions everywhere..namely my bed.  I soooo didn’t want to go, but I thought about the difference between those that are succesful and those that aren’t, and I pulled myself together.  I headed out to Barnes&Noble.  Funny how I thought I had the greatest idea for a study venue.  We musta all been geniuses because it was PACKED!  I managed to get the last table.  It was chilly so I got a tall french vanilla latte. FOUR DOLLARS+!  I’ll be bringing my own hot beverage next time. 

My battery died so I didn’t stay very long.  They had their outlets covered with labels that read “do not touch”…they ain’t having folx draining all their electricity…I thought that was so funny.   I headed home, but I was sooo glad that I got out.  It’s a good environment for me to get my assignments done…I’m pressing forward.  A day off is always a day ON, but it’s ok.  It’ll be paying off before I know it.

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What is at the top of your mountain? Tuesday, Nov 3 2009

Part of the reason why I share the details of what I go through in my daily life is because I want you guys to challenge me…to hold me accountable to those things that I say I’m going to do, or not going to do…be it in my personal relationships or my school/career aspirations.  So many of you inspire me for various reasons.  

The other reason I share so much is because I know one day it is going to be a joy to look back, once I’ve attained some of the things I aspire to.  Often times people don’t realize what others that have had to overcome to get where they are…they just see the blessing, but not the struggle. 

Stumbling blocks are a given especially when you are reaching towards the prize at the top.  I shared my experience the other week with needing to take this addt’l class.  It puts me at an 18 credit course load this semester.  As I mentioned, the fact that the Campus Director offered financial assistance made the pill a bit easier to swallow. 

Last week Thursday I was leaving school when the same woman who told me that I HAD to take this course stopped me.  Long story short in her very own style of tacky she told me that I needed to clear with financial aid so that I could take the course.  I countered with “No…Dr. Campus Director needs to take care of that”.  Ms. Waste of Oxygen said “No…that offered was rejected by the Dean“.  Was it her place to reveal that to me…she didn’t make the offer in the 1st place?  At that point I could have allowed my pressure to rise.  I shrugged and said “Ok, well that I guess that means I can’t take the course…that’s a no brainer” and I walked away.  She stood looking at me like I had 3 heads. 

What I have not shared is that I have an outstanding balance right now of $1,062.  My financial aid award should have covered all of my classes.  Something went awry, so this is what I’m left with.  My education is important so this will be dealt with, but it is another blow.          

Fast forward to last night.  I ran into Dr. Campus Director…I didn’t mention my discussion with Ms. Waste of Oxygen.  I asked about her original offer and it still stands, she even mentioned giving me books for next semester.  All should be in place by Wednesday.  It’s a good thing I recognize a waste of oxygen when I see one.  Why bother conversing with her when she has no final yes or no to offer.  Yup…stumbling blocks.           

I will be greasing her palm  showing my appreciation for her assistance.  I heard she loves breads.           

 What is at the top of your mountain?

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Octopus arms Thursday, Oct 22 2009

I am a planner.  I sit down and meticulously map out what I have to do to achieve xyz.  I’ve shared with you my plans to take x amount of credits for the upcoming semesters so that I can reach my target graduation date.

Last night me and another woman were called out of class to meet with an advisor.  When we reached her office she had paperwork already set out on her desk for us to sign. *eyes stretched*  She proceeds to tell us that we need to take a class starting Monday night.  I sat back calmly, yet defiantly and told her I can’t do another course right now…I’m already taking 16 credits.  Without a bat of her eye or a break in her stride she says “You have to“.  There is absolutely nothing I hate more than to be told or forced to do something…especially when I have good reason as to why I can not do it. 

My response to her was “I have a full plate right now…is there any flexibility because I can’t“.  She says “Well you can’t graduate without it, you can drop one of your other courses and take it next semester“.  “I’ve always had a lot of respect for this woman, but why is she bringing up graduation issues when I have several semesters to tackle before I reach that plateau??? *breathe*  “I.can’t”  Seeing that we were at a stalemate she left the office, and returned with the campus director.  GREAT!

She comes in with all of her bobble head animation “Kelly…what is it?  You have to take this course now…you just have to” *note that that really wasn’t a question; no one gives a sam hill as to why I can’t take it*  I’m silent.  Then she whispers “If it’s financial don’t worry…I’ll give you a retention”.  I resigned, and she left with a directive for me to email her in the morning. 

I sat down now so frustrated and overwhelmed that my eyes filled with tears.  I PLAN!!!  This was someone elses’ oversight that I didn’t have this course by now.  No I can’t drop what I already have and take it next semester.  Next semester I’ll be attending an LSAT prep course that’ll have me in class two nights a week…a weekend included, and taking 12 credits at the college.

It became clear to me that this was a crack down.  They were audited and now they have to do damage control in order to be in compliance.  It just sucks for me that now I’ll be away from home and the girls an extra night.  All of my other responsibilities that are already vying for time will now be condensed into one less day.

I’m not complaining…now.  I’m really just sharing.  I’m going to roll with the punches and do what I’ve always done, and give it my all.  I’m going to do my best to grow octopus arms because clearly I’ll need it.  I’ll buy stock in red bull because buying a lifelong supply to carry me through this semester…the stock is sure to rise!

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Random clutter Wednesday, Oct 21 2009

I’ve wanted to blog, but when there’s sooooo much going on in my brain I can’t do a single thing.

I have lunch with a co-ed multi-cultural group.  We laugh sooo much sometimes I nearly pee on myself.  On Friday we were talking about vitamins when Ram mentioned that he likes to take B12 shots…gives energy etc.  I inquired more because if its that good I need that in my life stat! He went on to say that he gets them from his boyfriend.  As a result of his boyfriends’ HIV status he needs them.  My reaction was “wow”…then he said that he was HIV positive as well…..”wow”.  We talked about this for awhile and his numbers are low enough that he does not need medication.  I felt really grateful that medicine has progressed enough that being HIV does not have to mean it’s a death sentence. 

It also made me wonder…are folx really STILL having unprotected secks???? SERIOUSLY???  I don’t think I updated ya’ll on this yet, but remember the girl that left her son with my friend and then went missing?  Well she was found….her body that is.  It seems that her boyfriend killed her because he discovered that she gave him HIV…speechless.  Do you know of friends that are this careless with their bodies??  You might want to share this story.

I did the breast cancer walk on Sunday.  On Sunday, the weather was cold, rainy and windy.  WICKED.  R picked up me and the girls.  Before we left the house he kept wondering out loud if I would be warm enough.  I had on leggings, two long sleeved tees, and my vest.  He dropped us off at the registration booth so that he could go and park the car.  We were outside a good 2 minutes when I cried aloud.  It was FREEZING!  I called his cell and we headed back to the house.  We changed clothes and made it back without missing anything.

The walk was a little emotional.  It felt great to be united with so many people for the same cause.  We were doing a great thing.  I plan to do the walk next year as well.

School is going well, but I’m feeling a little overwhelmed.  I’m not even sure why.

Another guy in my lunch crew has been coping with his boyfriend’s cancer.  This guy is only 24 years old.  Yesterday he was rushed into emergency surgery, and it wasn’t looking good.  I got word before I left work that he pulled through the surgery, but that his condition was still very critical.  I’ve been praying hard for him.

Oy vie…what’s some good news???  The girls are doing great.  They’ve had some moments of civility over the past few days.  I’ve been putting some funk in my work wear dress…no pics…ya’ll ain’t ready…lol

I purchased a pair of grey shoes yesterday…I’ve had them in my thoughts for like 3 weeks.  I’m glad that I waited…the price was sweeeet.  They make me happy. 

I’m starting to plan my holiday party.

I’ve had so many opportunities to witness in the past week or two.  It’s been great…and I’m thankful to be used.

I’ll be making a trip to NC in January.  I want to scope out my (potentially)new state in the winter season, and then I’ll visit again in April or May. 

This is for us Nerdgirl “”Procrastination is the grave in which opportunity is buried” ~Author unknown

*exhale*

Random?

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*cue CeCe Peniston* Finally! Thursday, Oct 1 2009

This fiasco is FINALLY over.  I don’t know what happened, but a process that should have taken 2 weeks tops, actually took 7 months…7 MONTHS!  I’m just happy it’s over and I’m happy to report that that B- is now my A.  TAKE THAT TAKE THAT! *INSERT HUGE GRIN* 

I earned an A in my History of Harlem class as well.  My gpa is now 3.86…can we just round that up to 3.9? WOOOOOHOOOOOO!!!

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1st day of School… Wednesday, Sep 9 2009

..and I’m so glad.  Last night I was stressed myself into a tizzy.  I was completely overwhelmed.  I left work 30 mins early to get a jump start on preparing for today.  I had to wash, condition and style Bird’s hair.  That’s always a feat.  T wanted her hair blown out.  I didn’t have extra $$ to accomodate that request so she said she’d wash and blow it so that I could go over it with the flat iron…fine. 

Well it took me 2 hours to finish Bird’s hair in between doing 2 loads of laundry.  By 8 pm I was exhausted.  Looking at T’s hair made me wanna cry.  It’s just sooooo much.  Using my very expensive flat iron was comical.  I need to find another conditioner for T’s hair stat.  What we’re using isn’t making the grade.  She may have seen the defeat in my eyes.  She told she would just wet her hair and wear it curly.  That weight was lifted, but I still felt burdened…to the point of tears.

There is no one to pass anything off to.  If I don’t do hair who’s gonna do it? If I don’t prepare the meal…If I don’t make sure the home is tidy..and it ain’t right now and that makes me VERY uncomfortable.  All of it is just exhausting sometime, but I wouldn’t trade them for the world. 

We all made it to bed at a decent hour and that was my biggest concern.  I wanted all of us to be well rested and prepared for today.

Yesterday, I called the girls and made sure they tuned into the President’s address.  I watched it online and his words made me emotional.  I heard it as a parent that wants so much for my girls.  Sometimes words of encouragement are few and far between.  The words he spoke were words of support and encouragement.  It felt like he was speaking directly to us.  This year we will strive harder and put in an even greater effort.  We will live up to our fullest potential.

For the past two weeks I’ve been searching for a math tutor for T.  She’s been struggling and its worn on her esteem.  I can not have that.  I’m happy that she’s attending the school she wanted to go to.  She’ll be dancing 4x a week. I won’t have to listen to her nag me about dance class.

Bird has a natural talent for music.  She used to take piano lessons and she was really good.  I could not keep up the lessons.  I was just discussing this with my godbrother yesterday.  Well, this morning I saw a notice at their afterschool program that piano lessons are being offered twice per week!

I pray that this will be a rewarding and fulfilling school year for all of us, my family and yours. 

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Randomness Wednesday, Aug 5 2009

My Aug 8th party is pink and white.  My Aug 22nd party is all white.  I hate that.

I played in my make-up last night.  I need much more play time…lol

Insomnia is back.

I went to the gym…early this AM.  It’s been a minute.  I didn’t stretch.  I’m soooooooo sore.

Alot of prayers are being answered.  Its a joy to highlight them in my book!

I’ve OFFICIALLY started to study for the lsat.  I need a head start considering my fall and spring course load.

I’m going to register in April to take it in June.

Isn’t that right around the corner???

I start my 2nd summer class on Friday.

My mom called me type A…again..last night. 

The summer is over…finito…not that we ever REALLY had one.

I saw Mr. K recently…he said I lost my butt…I agree *eyes stretched*.

How tragic.  I hate when that happens.

The girls were supposed to hook up with TBS…she had to cancel this go round.

I don’t particularly care for ATL, but I think I’m going to apply for a school out there.  I have alot of friends there. I wouldn’t be lonely.

I think I may be homesick in NC.  I’m sure I’d get over it in time.  I hope.

If you gonna pray why worry…if you gonna worry why pray.  Right?

Sometimes men are wayyyy worse than women when it comes to relationships that are bad for them.

I do not have an all white outfit and I DON’T wanna buy one.

I’m hosting a RHOA shindig tomorrow night….can’t WAIT!

AR Gal had a good idea wit them shirts.  I’d wear one…lol

I miss them girls SILLLLLLY!

I haven’t worn those suede magenta shoes yet…I don’t know what to wear them with.  If these chicks let me pick my own colors to wear to they parties MAYBE I could!  I’m lyin’…I ain’t hardly wearing them shoes to a party on my first go round.

My chance to make it to the beach went right out the flippin’ window on Sunday.

I can’t WAIT for Cancun.  There will be 4 of us.  Easy breezy gals…no drama.

I’m ready to plot another.

I’m sooo glad those journalists were released.  I can’t imagine the agony for the families.

I watched More to Love last night.

My cat is needy.  Have you EVER heard of such?

Hooking up after work with some of my fav girls.  That’ll be fun.

Moses and I are trying to re-schedule.

I’m not calling it a date, BUT I would like to do more dates during the day.  

I’m challenging myself.  For a week, I will not vent/complain/seek counsel from anyone else other than God.  This may seem trivial, but I’d like to see how this works out.  Keep me in line.

My favorite scent right now is Pink Sugar

I can really tell the difference with the henna.  I don’t plan to use Indigo again.  Regular semi perm is just fine for me.

Its HUMP DAY!

Who’s next?

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You can tell me Tuesday, Jun 30 2009

So first off….antibiotics plus no yogurt intake = ick! Why didn’t ya’ll remind me?  hmph

Today I got a blast from the past…tho not so distant past.  This guy im’s me…we’ve never met in person and I’m not interested.  He seems handsome enough…but I’m just not interested.  So he starts chatting and the im’d segwayed to him being unhappy about his weight.  He said its 187 which is fine in my opinion.  So I asked “How tall are you?” he paused for a few…then wrote that he just wants to lower his body fat percentage.  Me: silence…I’ll let that question marinate for a bit.

Thirty minutes later he writes “How tall are you?”  Seriously? I asked you first….lol  I closed out the window.  I’m not responding to that.  So who knows…maybe he’s 4′11 but if he is shouldn’t he say so? I can’t be bothered especially if your insecurities are wall papered on my monitor.  You better act like 4′11 is the best thing going.

I think I may have been a lil evil lately….well what do you expect? Antibiotics…no yogurt…cuz ya’ll didn’t remind me is bound to have some negative side effects.

Last night in class I had a question…instead of letting the Prof answer, a bunch of women starting shouting out random answers in UNISON.  I held up my hand and said “excussse me”….*eyes focused on Prof for his response*.  Vette’s (My new bff in my statistics class) eyes grew…she later said she couldn’t believe I did that.  I’m glad she told me…it really wasn’t my intent to be rude, BUT I’m trying to get a handle on this info and the class is straight unruly.  Bird accompanied me last night.  She whispered to me…”no one has to raise their hands” LOL…she was the most well behaved person there.

Next time I’ll remember I need yogurt…ugh!

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Let’s Dance Friday, Jun 5 2009

Yesterday I left work at 3:30 (early) for my parent interview.  I had to be there by 5:00.  I said a quick prayer that my make my bus and make it the interview without being late.  I made to Madison avenue and I saw my bus boarding passengers…the light was green..I could cross the street.  I said a quick prayer again…the light turned red, I made it across the street..boarded the bus.

Heading uptown we ran into a ton of traffic.  When I got off the bus it was only 2o minutes to 5:00.  I ran to my car and started to zoom zoom.  Then I reasoned that God doesn’t want me to kill myself or anyone else to make it there in time.  He’ll work it out.  I get to the block and there’s no parking, so I start praying again.  I get to the school and there’s a spot right in front…with 4 minutes to spare!

I get to the door and its locked.  There’s a man outside, he asked who I was there to see.  I say the Asst. Principal..he says she’s right over there.  The AP turns around and its one of my professors from my Fall ‘08 semester.  Unbelievable!  We chat for a minute…she’s just as surprised as I am.  As we’re heading upstairs she says that there’s a waiting list. 

We run into the Principal who is leaving the building.  She introduces me as a parent and as one of her students.  The Principal stated again that there is a waiting list.  After some more talking she says to the AP “find out where she is on the list and find out how we can bump her up” *God is gooooood*

We go into her office and she says “I know you, but I still have to ask these questions”.  She asked me a series of questions like how do I feel about cell phones and ipods in school, how often do I expect communications from teachers, etc..  I told her that I honestly was not comfortable with her attending a public school, but that I would really like her to go here.  By the end we were both talking as if she was already enrolled *God is goooood*

We spent like 40 minutes talking.  She showed me the dance studio.  She invited us to a performance they’re having this evening at 6:00.  The kids have lockers. I’m sooo psyched.  T is gonna love it.  I’ll see her this evening and she’ll let me know what she’s working out.  She said that staff is young.  She and the principal are the oldest and they are 40’s and 50’s respectively.

The school is small…which I love….just around 300 students for grades 6-8.  98% girls…which I LOVE…lol.  What I love more is how God really worked this whole thing out.  He opened doors, gave me direction and in the end left no room for doubt! Yet again…I’m in awe.

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Proud Momma Wednesday, Jun 3 2009

T was one of a select few students that performed at a cocktail gala last night.  I was so overwhelmingly proud of her.  T did 3 dance performances, two of which were variations of african dance.  In addition, one of her poems caught the attention of the charter school’s Executive Director.  He requested that it be one of the readings!!! Another student read it but STILL!! Proud Proud Proud!!! *giving myself a pat on the back*.

The place was beautiful, she had a great time.  One of the great things about Tis that when she’s doing something she loves, she does not get nervous.  I wanna say that she got her dancing talent honest (from moi! lol), but whenever I danced I was a BALLLL of nerves.  Not this girl..she’s dusting her shoulders off…go T.

I’ve decided if an she is accepted to this dance school she wants to attend that I’ll let her go.  Originally I nixed the idea because there is a christian school with a great curriculum that I preferred.  I let her audition last week just so she wouldn’t hate me her entire life for denying her dream.  It’s a public school and I figured if money got really funny than at least I’ll have a back up.  My parent interview is tomorrow, after that they will determine if she is accepted.  Funny how things change.

I’ll stipulate that I’m giving her one year to show me that she can excel in dancing and do her best in her personal best in her academics.  *exhale* My baby’s growing up.  It’s scary how fast time passes.  I’m hard on my girls.  I am.  I hope she/they know how proud I am of their accomplishments.  I tell them..I do, but I hope they get it.  I hope my praise is not overshadowed by my critiques.  *Thinking of something special I can do for her on Thursday*

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